September 15, 2011

Late Summer Madness

Dark clouds arrived over my high ground, filtering sunlight and growing shadows over the land.

The shadows kissed the faces of the innocent. 

The hidden histories were recited. I sculpted them into the clouds. Then I leaked darkness into the sky and swirled a wish.

I wished for man to feel the shortening of days.

How long my mad season will last I do not know. The dark clouds obey the Wind. The Wind will do nothing except anything you say.

Your September forecast: Fall in my fields and forget your worries.


48 comments:

Rachel Hoyt said...

I like this September forecast! Great poem. :)

Brian Miller said...

ha it is a mad season for sure...cool mornings and smoking afternoons...i want to fall in the fields and just chill...come on autumn...

Sheri said...

I will gladly fall into it's fields and forget my worries. Love this line.

Reflections said...

Hello Ed, nice to meet you. I feel honored tonight as both of the poems I am to critique are by writers who are new to me. I have really enjoyed browsing through your blog, trying to get a feel for your writing in general. A fellow soul out to assist in saving ever so small parts of this world we live in, a kindred spirit if you will. Very nice to meet you, think I shall be following along. Now on to your poem and my humble offerings...

Wow... fabulous piece! I am also from Southern Calif. so the beginning felt very much for me like the weathers we have experienced through this last week. The darkening skies, the shortening of days of this time of year, the dry lightening strikes... the winds blowing sparks into fires. I think this was the theme pretty much of your poem. Yet I felt as though you were initially speaking from the 'weather voice', maybe natures power over the temperatures and winds, then suddenly when we moved to September's forecast, it felt as though you became the firestorm. Still nature, yet I felt as though I had to step back to verify who was speaking. Maybe this was your intent.?.

Truly a fabulous piece. Love the descriptors, the intensity of nature, the hints at past years' seasons, not so long ago. All of this, simply my humble interpretation of your words.

So glad you are here and that I have finally discovered your words.

Petrina aka Reflections

Ed Pilolla said...

rachel, brian, sheri, thanks. i cut the last three lines and ended on the one you mentioned. it's extremely compact, and i like it:)

petrina, you are right. i open with the weather voice. i adjusted it and made it first person. many thanks:)

darlin said...

Ed this is awesome, your writing is a welcome break from all of these never ending assigned readings! You could teach these people who write the text books a thing or two about keeping the readers interest. Sigh... I only wish!

Have a wonderful day.

Ed Pilolla said...

thanks, darlin. it is a product of revision.

Brian Miller said...

nice...i like the adjustment...and excited to see the crit you got as well...and she took the time to get to know you a bit...good stuff...

Pat Hatt said...

But it keeps raining here, the fields are all wet not that fun to all in..haha...another very well done piece.

Claudia said...

fall in my fields and forget your worries... you haveno idea how strong this soeaks to me... just about to pack things and say good bye to the 100 people i've been taking care of this week... and thought i'm reading ONE poem.. and it was just the right one... tears in my eyes... thanks ed..

Yvonne Osborne said...

It sounds like Mother Nature talking. And to her, I always listen. I feel the shortening of the days. Oh, I do, I do.

Kelley said...

You're such a mood setter :)

Arron Shilling said...

moody and cool with powerful emotional reactions from the ladies - i would call this a success ed - lol.

i think the tightening is very effective and compacting the ideas is always a good thing when the content is this strong. creates a well honed poem poised for impact

Marion said...

Beautiful, Ed. Oh, how I welcome the shortening of days each year! When the weatherman says, "The high today is 80 degrees" I get excited and throw open all the windows and turn on my anicent attic fan.

Fall is a glorious month here at Casa Dragonfly in the swamps. The Spider Lilies magically appear as my trash trees turn yellow and red and my Cypress fades to rust. The Pines, alas, can only gape at them with wonder and envy.

Thanks for sharing this. xo

Debbie Dawnslight said...

Wow... your final line - "Fall in my fields and forget your worries" touches me very deeply and comes perfectly after the images of sculpted hidden histories in clouds and mad season... that I know only too well
Love the imagery and the layers of meaning (at least for me... I never pretend to understand the "real" intent).
Thank you. This is a beautiful write.
Nice to meat you!

~deb

Elisabeth Hirsch said...

You have such a gift--the pictures you paint are fantastic. Just this single sentence tells so much: "The shadows kissed the faces of the innocent."

Amazing job, again :0)

Wine and Words said...

Dear He Who Controls The Wind,
Tell me your secrets. I have been the whipping boy of said same tame breeze. I am at the mercy of something you ride like a magic carpet. My envy knows no bounds, while my power is captive.

Ed Pilolla said...

haha:) truth be told, this piece is missing something. i like the art, the title, the end and the idea, but it's missing something...

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I'm jealous at how easy you make sound when it comes to writing poetry. And I LOVE your poems.

shawnacymariekiker said...

fiddle with the beginning all you want, (sometimes, it's perfectly fine, but not quite THERE ((ok, so it's never really THERE, but whatever)) in terms of fulfilling our inner vision) but from 'i wished for man to feel the shortening of days' on out... (and for some reason
'nothing except anything you say' feels out of place... that could totally just be me) man... i
absolutely devoured it.

the words sliding down neural paths to be broken into tiny microscopic bits that will nourish my september heart.

completely captivating.

Susie Clevenger said...

Marvelous write...my first time to read your work...I will be back

Leeann @ Join the Gossip said...

Perfect for the current LA weather!

Poetry Pastiche said...

This is my favorite line:
"Then I leaked darkness into the sky and swirled a wish."

♥ Braja said...

I've never read anyone who writes like you; I like it. You have a flirtatious r/ship with word and phrase, and they seem to enjoy the play....:)

oceangirl said...

This is beautiful Ed. I didn't quite get it at first because I still had the Seasons in me.

ed pilolla said...

i don't think you got it at first becuz i don't think it works. but hey, that happens sometimes:) on to the next, right?
i like your new photo. it's got that burn quality that's neat. yes i say neat:)

ed pilolla said...

the fact that it's a little disjointed i'll attribute to the madness itself. ha-ha! i knew i'd rationalize the technical flaws, and the madness:)

ed pilolla said...

shawnacymariekiker, thanks for your kind words. i like your stuff as well and i'm looking forward to reading more.
you are right. that line is a little bit awkward. i'm going to attribute it to the madness:) it's the easy way out:)

Ed Pilolla said...

debbie, with a disjointed piece like this, the meaning is what you take away. i normally like to be more clear, but with this i just aimed for a stormy day with a soft landing.

Kenia Cris said...

Are you half Native American? I like your connection with the Nature, every line you write sounds like an old chant echoing in the Universe through you now, lines flow like music.

Take care and keep smiling. <3

LauraX said...

"...I leaked darkness into the sky and swirled a wish." beautiful Ed.

Ed Pilolla said...

laura, thank you.

kenia, thanks. i'm first generation italian-american, as they say. all the way through. but i picked up a book on native american myths earlier in the year and it stirred me, yes:)

Craziness abounds said...

I have to agree with Elisa I loved that sentence and the very last one. Very cleverly written.

Friko said...

What wonderful lines; I really like this poem.

Thank you for visiting Friko's World. I've had a look round your presence here in cyberspace; my, there's a lot to see. I shall certainly come and explore further.

Su-sieee! Mac said...

I like your September forecast. It's how life needs to be more than from time to time.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

"Then I leaked darkness into the sky and swirled a wish."

"I wished for man to feel the shortening of days."

Absolutely wonderful! Feels like you read the inside of my head.

Heaven said...

I like that forecast but only without the cold nights. Though autumn is fine with me, I dread the coming of winter. Too cold here from where I am.

Worries.. I am though for next week. Have a job interview I hope to get. Maybe excited is a better word.

Happy weekend ~

RaShelle Workman said...

What a gorgeous poem! Gorgeous!

Ed Pilolla said...

thanks for the sugar:)

heaven, good luck on the interview.

cj Schlottman said...

Ed,

This piece has certainly spawned a variety of comments and interpretations! Somehow, it feels gauzier than your other works with which I am familiar, but I love it's translucence of spirit. Favorite phrase? "The Wind will do nothing except anything you say."

Another wonderful poem. Man, I am glad I found your site!

Namaste..........cj

Leontien said...

whoooo i LIKE IT!
great great word use and it makes me think, like hard! haha

Thanks Ed!
And about the Hershey thing, i just do not like the taste... maybe i am a little spoiled with all the Dutch, Belgium and German chocolate!

Leontien

Paula said...

I love the allegory of sculpting clouds...

Hilary said...

I've already had a few September days like this.. all have ended beautifully.. much like your poetry.

Bill said...

I've read several of your poems. Beautiful words! I would very much like to fall in your fields and forget my worries.

Irene said...

Hi Ed! I've never experienced fall because I come from the other side of the world (Philippines). But your post made me feel like I just did. Brilliantly written, Ed! You're an amazing poet! :-)

Elliot MacLeod-Michael said...

I enjoyed the mystic quality of this. Quality poem.

Tori said...

I love this Septmber forecast! Just what I needed to read today! Beautiful!

Janet said...

I am completely intrigued by your vivid word design. Very powerful!