September 7, 2011

Condiments

For you, I mixed ketchup with red wine and stirred up a sauce that dropped a food critic to one knee. I found relish in the fridge and whipped up a sweet pickle ice cream you inhaled after your first tentative lick.

I crusted a beautiful filet of fish with crumbled Fritos.

I pickled leftover watermelon rind and baked Fruit Loop cupcakes that ended up on the menu at some fancy joint in New York.

I chilled honey-minted ice tea after an afternoon sunning.

I steeped the risotto in cheddar cheese, only because there were no strawberries.

I enjoy rummaging through society’s dustbin for treasures that need polishing, like working out of your mostly empty fridge.

You whip up the whimsical in me.

46 comments:

Jill said...

This was great...especially the last line. Made me smile!

Ed Pilolla said...

thanks:) just having fun using different voices. this had a little -- little -- ethnic flavor, like a hint:)

Jannie Funster said...

Actually, the Fritos encrusted fish sounds like an award-winner!

Fun, original write, Ed!

Samantha Sotto said...

I agree with Jannie! I may just try Fritos and fish!

Cute post :)

Pat Hatt said...

Fun write, but you scaried me with those combinations, the food I just can't handle..haha

Morning said...

another funny piece.
smiles.

oceangirl said...

and now you can cook too, most delectable (the post I mean).

but really, I love this post so, this is the sexiest so far.

ayala said...

great and sweet :)

Ed Pilolla said...

i can't cook like this. i have not made any of the things i describe here. haha:) i only know how to make a handful of dishes well. i watch the food network show chopped, did a little online research and did my best at a gunslinging urban chef. it was fun:)

Brian Miller said...

nice man...so are these real or did you make them up...before i go and try any of them...ha...

Ed Pilolla said...

the dishes are all real.

the wine and ketchup sauce got a standing ovation on the show chopped. the frito fish too. the risotto recipes i found online with keywords like odd or whimsical risotto recipes, this after searching for weird rice recipes and others that didn't turn up anything useful.

i mean, there were a lot of weird food combinations to choose from but i was looking for something that sounded good or at least intriguing in the written word, like my character knew what he was talking about.

the cheddar cheese risotto had a couple good reviews and so did the strawberry risotto, i believe, but i can't recommend them as i've never actually made them myself:) they are real recipes, however, and i have faith that a savant chef could make it a delicious meal.

i was going to link to the recipes but it felt incomplete linking to a couple and not the others.

colleen said...

I love the way food combinations can be put together like words in poems.

Kathy G said...

These sound like something I'd come up with after looking around the kitchen the day before payday :-)

Yvonne Osborne said...

I like this....very whimsical indeed, food as poetry. I just bet you dropped the food critics to one knee.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Actually, that fritos and fish one sounds yummy! :D

Claudia said...

gasp...!!! this makes my imagination go in all different directions ed...just food eh..? love your whimsical voice..

My Inner Chick said...

ed,
I am continually moved by the "whimiscal YOU." :)

Ed Pilolla said...

food is so very fun to write about. it's the sort of post i wish i had worked on for a week instead of a couple hours. but i'm happy with it, especially after i found the art. score!:)

jbchicoine said...

Gosh, I just love how food relates to life. So many great food metaphors out there, and this is a tasty sampling!

Your snippets get me wondering...

Marion said...

Look out Rachael Ray, Ed is IN THE HOUSE!! I love this.

Cooking really *can* be fun and adventurous. Personally, I never make the same recipe twice. I love experimenting with my many home-grown herbs and spices. Cardamom is my newest exotic spice friend that I put in everything. Tasty, fabulous post, Ed. xo

PS: Just one more book recommendation: You simply MUST read "The Mistress of Spices" by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. It's mouth-watering, magical realism brought to cooking. I gulped the book in one sitting. :-)

Kelley said...

Very cool. I think I like this one the most so far, but I do watch the Food Network and the Food Channel like I'm being paid for it. Especially the competitions, like Chopped :)

cj Schlottman said...

I love the whimsical side of you! This has a lilting quality that speaks to the whimsy in me - and makes me chuckle. Great post!

Namaste...........cj

Heaven said...

Whimsical mood and you wrote this.

I like the vivid images of the words...makes my tongue itch and taste the page.

Happy day ~

Evelyn said...

wow.
Another great one.
Truly love this.

Madhulika said...

Nicely written.. But I wouldn't say that I liked it :P
Actually... I live at a hostel and the food at hostel mess is a real pain at times..
These kind of posts reminds me of all amazing food that I am missing, it tempts me and trust me.. I hate being tempted :P

Geraldine said...

I'm heading for that NY joint for a couple of Fruit Loop cupcakes! Who says junk food isn't good for you. We lived for Fruit Loops as kids LOL.

Thanks for a wonderful, heaping helping of humor Ed. You have such a way with words...

ladyfi said...

Whimsical, creative and a little sad.

Ed Pilolla said...

writing about food is definitely fun, but for the sensual part of it, there's also who are we making the food for. i don't know enough about cooking to know off hand several different ways one might treat the ingredients when cooking with love, but i know it can be done. there are many stories that use this flavor. one of my favorites is the movie babette's feast.

Lolamouse said...

This was great! The combinations are strange but oddly enticing. And now I'm hungry!

Wine and Words said...

Dontcha just love the food network? Somehow it makes me FEEL cheffy. I do tend to be more exploratative in my own cooking when I recall all the wierd sh*t they put together on those shows. You seem happy Ed. Hope so ;)

Ed Pilolla said...

i'm in a good place. thanks:)

She Writes said...

Are you in love, Ed? I must know :). This writing makes me happy.

Ed Pilolla said...

i don't believe in love:)

Su-sieee! Mac said...

Oh, Ed, I love the whimsy. I feel like I'm floating after reading this. Thank you! :-)

Paula said...

I love this....

Ed Pilolla said...

susan, you're powdery sweet.

paula, thanks for the visit.

Celestial Dreamz said...

hey i love the whimsicality here ... your combinations are making me all imaginative :-)

SandyCarlson said...

Well, that had me hanging on from line to line to see what has next on this menu. You had me thinking of some old advice about thinking only happy and loving thoughts in the kitchen because thoughts and what's on the heart become part of the meal. This post tells me anything is possible. And I am hungry!

Elisabeth Hirsch said...

So good! I agree, that last line is awesome :0) You really have a way with words.

Other Mary said...

Hahaha - what a creative treat! You know the old saying: Relish today; ketchup tomorrow! cheers!

ed pilolla said...

amster, maybe i should have given you a more full answer, so i wrote breach in the moonlight:)

The Southern Fried Bride said...

What a clever blog! Thanks for the follow. Following you back.

seasideauthor said...

I started laughing in the first sentence, Great read.
Thanks still GOL (Giggling out loud),
Thanks for stopping by y site.

The Empress said...

This one, made me smile and get teary eyed at the same time.

What a compliment, to move someone to whip up sauces in the kitchen.

Really.

♥ Braja said...

Brilliant. You should start a food blog :)

Margaret said...

so... there is hope in my refrigerator yet! :) Very clever.