I buried you under so much earth the mountains slipped.
The soil was salted. I sealed your grave with a dark spell, and chilled the entire neck of woods.
I sent memories of you down the river.
The birds left. The sky surrendered. This entire corner of the world was forgotten.
Now I am in another.
You are exactly where I left you, as cozy as could be. Only now your rotted face perfectly matches my pain. Everything happens for a reason, my love, and now we can finally be together.
This forest tomb becomes our nest.
I always knew I’d raise you from the dead.
29 comments:
on some level ed...this is a bit creepy...imagining you snuggled up with the crypt keeper...haha...a little necrophilia feel as well...shivers...
" I took love on the other side of the mountains, but it ended in a mad season.
Now I am in another."
Just outstanding, Ed.
One the surface all nice and sweet, but thinking more and it kind of has a scary beat. Those corpses do smell after a while you know..haha
I buried you under so much earth the mountains slipped.
The soil was salted. I sealed your grave with a dark spell, and chilled the entire neck of woods.
those lines right there were so visceral, I begged for them to be turned into a book.
You can see why, don't you?
There's SO MUCH MORE I need to know.
thanks:) i like it dark here. i want to follow it up with more dark, but i tend to go back and forth. we shall see:)
Cozy? Hmm, I think I would like to be "tucked in " by another! :)
Damn it Shutter Bug! This was fabulous. I am picturing this past lover and what it took to move on from that. Enough tears that mountains tumbled. And now this healing, even though darkly put (thank you...for you know me and dark) and the pain of the past finding a symbiotic relationship in the present...where you and it have leveled out together. And there is another. Something new. Decay becomes nutrient to soil and soil feeds the next. As it should be. Nothing is wasted.
I like dark. Always have. And I get the emotional sentiment here, if you will. Your writing is changing. I like it. Deeper, more real. And not, of course.
You describe intense feelings that I could never imagine except through your words. Although I always want Condiments from you, but relationships offer many more different actions and reactions, and you do take us with you to different depths and colors.
The last line, I would change to, And arouse you.
buried, sealed with a dark spell, the birds left...forgotten and i moved on..then the change and going back..there's lot of depth in your darkness ed
Haven't we all had a mad season or two? I'm just sayin...
This is dark, and you know I like dark. :) Well done.
thanks for the love:) my late summer writing to you is a box of chocolates. some will just the right combination of caramel and chocolate. some will surprise you with their lightness. some will be dark, but hopefully sweet in some way, too. some probably won't work so well. that's just how it goes sometimes. i'm going to take some chances with my recipes:)
Ed, it's dark but I love how intense the love is felt.
Wow, dark stuff. nicely written though, love this line, "The birds left. The sky surrendered. This entire corner of the world was forgotten." Thank you for stopping by Katherines Corner Ed.
Almost gothic ... eerie. Nicely executed ...
Poem on, Ed.
Nice to "meet" you.
This did evoke 'creepy' feelings, I must admit. It is so true that our mad seasons lead us away, and circling back again to see something the same that is now completely different. Oh..you always get me thinking Ed. And I always enjoy the images you choose.
love the contrast of light and dark writing!
creepy is good occasionally :)
and I love a box of chocolates, too!. ;)
you take me to places I have never been before. I taste sweetness in dark chocolate, I experience change in seasons and understand what shortening of days means. with your words, thank you.
As a former cop, that's disconcerting. But as a writer, I think it's beautifully written... and disconcerting.
Darkness...It has a Poe feeling to it ...I think of the Tell Tale Heart when I read it...Poe is one of my favorite authors and when anything reminds me of him I am more than pleased....great job. I can see it becoming a much longer work.
woooooo! creepy! you really brought out the creeps with your writing.. yuks! my gooseberry.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/02/16/helpless/
Lovely lines. Cant say more than whats already said...
Nice, Ed ... a bit dark and I like dark ... and you have created some great images with your words.
Wow! You paint a darkly vivd scene here, Ed. Very well written. Intense and very Stephen Kingish!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/19/fragile-cloth-2/
I can feel the earth in my hands, its smell in my nostrils. Very dark, indeed. Creepy, even--but so well done. Thank you.
your words have spooky fingers, very sharp and deep.
fitting your blog template very well.
Thanks for sharing.
a rocking entry.
Happy Poetry Picnic.
This is both a combination of creepy and pretty, nicely done!
ed,
i must be in my own realm. i did not see this as creepy...just beautiful, sensual, & delectable. x
What a treat your words are. A lot to digest, but well worth the time.
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