Within my forest the light rain whispers, the moss covers the ground and the leaves swing in the breeze like bells.
I am the deepest part of the woods, with ancient trees that rival mountains, their high branches thick as redwoods.
One path leads here. Our ancestors ferried from one shore to another within me to secure safe passage.
Perhaps I am the king of the forest. Or maybe I’m just a boy who couldn’t find his way out. Either way, I built the hidden stairs and the first city in the trees.
When a spell was cast on me, I lived as a refugee in my own land, searching but never finding the stairs again.
Trust me this deep in the forest.
The spell is breaking with every step.
Come closer.
For dVerse Open Link Nite.
36 comments:
Hmmm.. Not sure I would trust you to come closer...not sure of your intent!
LOL
A very nice, atmospheric, deep write and very enjoyable read.
Ed- I so enjoy your poems of the forest and I look forward to seeing what's next. I especially like:
When a spell was cast on me, I lived as a refugee in my own land, searching but never finding the stairs again.
I see my son in this.
He is 14, with Asperger's. And this poem puts me in his mind.
Not to say dark, not at all.
just that he is like an ancient, lush forest.
Thank you for this.
I love going somewhere I never would have gone, without this inspiration.
Really, thank you.
"One path leads here" ...I really liked this line and felt it held the initial description and the invitation together well.
Words that should be said very softly and in one sentence. Come closer. Nicely done.
Quite shivery, very well done sense of the macabre mixed with a straight, rich and mind engaging narrative, always a great way to go to lull the reader, then chill him. A very light and sure hand at the wheel/keyboard here.
Beautiful!
Magical and inviting.
Beautiful writing. I loved - "and the leaves swing in the breeze like bells."
Your imagery is beautiful, and well fits the moss-covered forests of western Oregon--where I live. I also like the ship illustration
Now why do I feel nervous to step closer?
Oh, yeah! It's because I've been studying Scandinavian mythology and folklores lately. Scary stuff.
Love the picture!
I'm stuck somewhere between Wizard of OZ and Peter Pan :) You've got me hanging like a leaf in your deep dark. I keep changing colors.
King of the forest you say. Is that more king like Tut or king like Tarzan, wait do I really want to know?..haha
Very nice passage through the deep forest and no I won't come closer, it's a germ thing..haha
you def set the scene and leave us with an uneasy feel of wether we should come closer or not...hmm...all very fantastical...
"Within my forest the light rain whispers, the moss covers the ground and the leaves swing in the breeze like bells."
Wow, Man! This is so concrete that I can smell the rain, feel the moss under my bare feet, and best of all, see those leaves swinging like bells.
Wonderful!
Namaste..........cj
What a mystery, not coming closer. I am smiling. Well written, drawing.
I love to... your series are wonderful to read. I enjoy it ~
Ed...I love your creativity...always waiting for us to discover...your words.
Breathtaking imagery. You truly drew me into the forest, Ed.
I want to go there. Does that mean I've been hypnotized?
Gorgeous! You have me thinking of "The Silence of Trees."
so so nice. spoken word would do this so well...
"Either way, I built the hidden stairs and the first city in the trees." Sounds like a lovely fairy tale but come closer . . . makes me think of Hansel and Gretel or other equally "Grimm" fairy tales. Nice write.
Eerie! I'm sorry, but my feet are frozen here. I'm not coming closer. :)
There is a beautiful magic in your words : )
lovely
had to laugh at Pat...Tarzan? that just cracked me up.
Such a magical piece--again :0)
I love the visual of a city in the trees.
Lovely lyrical writing, and a lovely photo to go with it! (the water is gorgeous)
"I lived as a refugee in my own land"...perhaps this is true of all of us at different times in our lives. Beautifully written Ed.
such a nice series and it is so wonderful to read this I am glad that you shared this
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/13/a-new-life-begins/
Cryptic and beautiful hamlet, just as your writing.
Goose bumps!
Magical and thought-provoking! Short but has a lot to say. I like the imagery, which is spellbinding.
I scrolled down and found many great reads here.
Thanks for visiting my site and for the comments. Much appreciated.
"The fireflies are kissing your face as if they just met you" <3 :)
Having never been to your neck of the "woods," I can only imagine the majesty of the redwoods in your great state. And the picture your poem painted in my mind was sensational! And such a mystical journey, spells and hidden stairs... I was totally encased in the writer's scene.... "The spell is breaking with (each of the reader's?) step..... come closer." what an awesome, powerful ending to this poem! great read, great talent! Glad I came here and very pleased to meet you....
Thank you for visiting my poem, Ed. I like your romantic (in the large, medieval mystic sense of the word) vision and your sense of inner and outer space woven together. Good story!
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