April 5, 2010

Dark Hawks

someone better not look at me the wrong way when i'm dark hawking. i'm gentle, but the dark hawk destroys. the dark hawk is fierce, and huge men have cowered before the dark hawk. so we go to the far side of the moon when we become that without hope. another bill i can’t pay, the fact that i'm still nomadic after six years, that i have a hole in my heart, in my life. the dark hawk issues the edict: let the world burn. burn it all down. this world is fallen.

it’s all a lie. stay comfortable. there is no benefit to leaving the hobbit hole. the spirits tease you out, then laugh at your pain. christ didn’t die for our sins. he was murdered, and no good came of it, other than a congregation of fools believing they were saved by murdering the man.

we soar over the dead surface of the moon, until we tire, and then we unbecome and return home and slowly begin to hope once more.

* * *

A close friend of mine wrote the following in response to my dark hawk piece:

Dark Hawk, you are not alone. The flight on the dark side of the moon feels solitary but you are not alone. You can’t see the other Dark Hawks as they cloak themselves well, but you are not alone. You see, I too am a Dark Hawk and it is my secret. I cloak myself in shades of happiness and hues of laughter. You can’t see me for what I am. But know you are not alone.

If I exposed my true self would you fly away? If I exposed my true self would it comfort you? There are others, but they too hide. They don’t want to be a Dark Hawk. They don’t want anyone to know their true self. Instead they point to others and say they are broken. The others don’t want to acknowledge. They fear the unknown of being true.

I hide in the shadows hoping to avoid being noticed, but I noticed you. There must be a reason. Please, don’t be afraid, we are safe. We are safe together. It isn’t often that I see others here in the lee of the moon, but I’m glad you are here because I need you too. We don’t need to speak for I understand. A simple glance will do. You and I can fly in silence the way all Dark Hawks do.


thinkingtoohard said...

Bent is Beautiful, babe. Isn't it funny how the universe gets all of us freaks together?

Ed Pilolla said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ed Pilolla said...

it's the best way to be a freak, unfurling our freakness among the wings of each other.

La Sirena said...

I like that -- especially, "and then we unbecome and return home"

Darkness is part of us. It's beautiful, too. Sometimes I have to let my night wolf run and howl so she doesn't devour me and mine.

word verif = plato

(He didn't have faith in the Shadow, though.)

Ed Pilolla said...

night wolf. nice.

Love, Evolution, and Resilience said...

I feel a little Dark Hawk from time to time.