June 1, 2010

The Gift of The Great Prophetess

While in the womb I negotiated with the great prophetess. We came to terms after months of back-and-forth.

No such thing as overpaying for the rarest of treasures. Once again, I made out like a bandit. For you, I would have given double, triple.

Many lifetimes ago I bought you at a slave auction and was laughed off the stage at the ridiculous price I offered. But I did the laughing later when I saw the hundreds of familiar secret worlds in your eyes.

This is no young love anymore. We drink the blast juice of a deeper color between us. Back when we were young, Abraham chased and threatened us with reed sticks for stealing his grapes. (Sucka!)

I have my doubts, as usual. I acknowledge these doubts not to contaminate, but rather to release them, to clean our energy, to continue the collapsing of space between us, to slope the land further.

To fall deeper into those secret worlds of yours.

So many of my friends today live as refugees from the journey of looking for the great unspoken horizon that is love. They resort to the safety of emotionless sex, in its various trendy presentations, woven to hide the handiwork of the dark tailor himself: Fear. Emotionless sex was one of the things I had to give up in this lifetime. You see, the great prophetess doesn't take from us anything that's truly valuable. She only demands everything that cloaks our true selves.

After a long journey, you'll always find a little wear and tear on the carriage. But nothing is wasted. Everything is necessary-- once you arrive.

I have my doubts, as usual. But we've already made our deals with the great prophetess, and we continue to make out like bandits. So what's the point of doubting?

No point.

To get you back, I would give up more than the misers of this fallen world could fancifully imagine. (Suckas!)

Ours is an ancient crush.


Ina in Alaska said...

Hi Ed. I just wanted to stop by your blog and thank you for your kind comment which you left recently over on my blog. I used to live in Manhattan Beach and moved to Anchorage in 1982. Loved it there. Very best regards to you!

She Writes said...

Had a little fun with this, did ya ;)?

Teacher Mommy said...

"They resort to the safety of emotionless sex, in its various trendy presentations, woven to hide the handiwork of the dark tailor himself: Fear."

Oh, so very very true. Been there, done that, had to give it up to save my soul.

Alexandra Grabbe said...

You take us such amazing places, Ed, and ask us to explore. Thank you!

Andrea Parker said...

oooo I love it. I like the slave auction part

Graceful said...

Hey Ed,
Thanks for visiting Graceful recently. I'm intrigued by your writing here. It's different...and I mean that in a good way.

Wine and Words said...

Oh. My. Gosh. Some really good stuff in here. I love the sporadic "SUCKA" which gives such a youthful grunge feel to an ancient landscape in the womb of ancient crush. "Drinking the blast juice of a deeper color!" There is no value greater than what we ourselves would pay...to retrieve a treasure.

Tori said...

I agree with Wine and Words. :) Also, I love "To fall deeper into those secret worlds of yours." Nice.

Gillian said...

You give us all something to ponder. Its awesome.

Bernie said...

This reminds me of wizards and fairies and it is all wonderful.
........:-) Hugs

Brian Miller said...

keep living that fairy tale...a magical kinda love you talk about there...i found mine too...though i was the slave and she freed me.

Anonymous said...

Forget how much I love that you address emotionless sex. This is what kicked me in the gut: "I acknowledge these doubts not to contaminate, but rather to release them."
Why can't we all?

dara said...

This is inspirational. Wow.

Deidra said...

Ah, yes...an ancient crush. Like that.

Ed Pilolla said...

@ina in alaska, thanks for stopping by. the south bay is great place to live, for sure.
@she writes, i did have fun. it wasn't until after i drafted this out that i was craving some humor in it, if for no other reason than to amuse me, so i stuck in the 'suckas' and liked it betta.
@teacher mommy, there's a time for everything. after pain, i, like others, retreat into emotionless sex. but we must continue to risk ourselves and bring those defenses down, seems to me.
@alexandra, thank you. glad you're enjoying those magical places. i sure enjoy writing about 'em.
@andrea, i like that slave auction part too. there's something in it, about a man literally purchasing a woman, that's forbidden and therefore hot as hell.
@graceful, thanks much for stopping by.
@wine and words, i think the 'suckas' make it. might be too grungy without it. we've all lost treasures, and the emotion behind buying it back, i think, has a universal feel.
@tori, the persian poet hafiz wrote of seeing secret worlds in a drunkard's eyes, so i added 'familiar' and called it my own. ha!
@gillian, thanks so much:)
@bernie, sometimes i have to resist bringing a wizard into these things. not where i want to go, but it's that feel i am going for. thanks mucho:)
@brain miller, i love that: i was the slave and she freed me. deep and evolved.
@thinkingtoohard, it's hard to release doubts. at my best i can. other times it's not so easy. we all struggle with our doubts, whatever they are. but it's sweet to let 'em go. it's like arriving at a place and feeling it happen. wish i could do it every damn day:)
@dara, thanks so much:)
@deidra, i debated over ending with an ancient crush or ancient love affair. liked the concept of love affair, but liked the brevity of crush better. so i guess that's how i make decisions: which has fewer words to type. ha!

Renee Pellegrino said...

Wow! Great piece.