September 25, 2010

Stumbling


I thought I was stumbling.

I had no idea I was really whirling and

twirling.

It’s a little embarrassing, the truth is.

Sometimes.

Lots of times:)

I finally saw myself as I truly was, moving so sure-footed through these dark woods. I thought I was flailing across this moving water. But I saw myself as I really was, with that goofy smile pasted across my face, skipping over this crocodile-infested river. I thought those crocs were snapping at me. I had no idea they were really hollering encouragements as I danced from head to head.

I looked for you around every ancient tree trunk for so long I gave up.

Who knew the magic words were Leave Me Alone.

Only when I abandoned all hope and expectation did I discover.

For I was lost in these woods

And now I am found.

Tough days lie ahead. There’s no doubt. It is the nature of this world. We’re all walking a plank in this place. Just wait until we are all living on this earth with full knowledge of all of our lifetimes.

This is not written in any of the great books, only in the greatest book of all, the one inside each of us.

Search

What is your hope for this thing called life?

Heaven on earth, my friends.

As you know, what we have here is no heaven on earth. The crimes against the poor are too many to mention, the crimes against our animals too horrifying to describe, the crimes against this planet too institutionalized to bother documenting.

Once upon a time, your roots curled around mine in the winter. You licked my face in the tall grass every afternoon. You gave me bread in the alley.

The Great Awakening is just beginning to color our sky.

I smell rain.

Our time is what it is here.

Then we shall see ourselves as we truly are

and return home

to us.

35 comments:

ladyfi said...

This is beautiful! Realistic, painful yet full of optimism about the beauty of life. Change IS possible for it starts with us.

Wild Rose said...

Wow Ed...such pain, such enthusiasm, the image is so beautiful with each line intricately placed. Yes we can and change the now for best and you completely had me on the "Fuck You" part too. :)

Beautiful and i loved it~

Su-sieee! Mac said...

I'm glad you smell rain, Ed. I love the image of you dancing on the heads of the encouraging crocodiles and walking sure footed through the dark woods. We have no idea how we are doing when we're going through the present. All I know is that when I stopped waiting for expectations, and bought my own damn truck, years ago, I started dancing. Thanks for reminding me. :-)

Being Me said...

This is so rich. The layers of meaning are just beautiful. As always, Ed!

Heaven IS on Earth. We have to make it so, though. It is a tough ask. But doable, if only the tide continues to turn.

Claudia said...

so you smell rain... that's deep and honest writing ed - read it twice - wow..i agree there's no heaven on earth - but found also that there's no peace inside myself to rely upon...

my fav lines..
Once upon a time, your roots curled around mine in the winter. You licked my face in the tall grass every afternoon. You gave me bread in the alley

Brian Miller said...

i smell the hope in that rain...and i like the word play in the last line...we will return home to us...i think that is our role to bring little pieces of heaven here one touch at a time...there is so much that brings the hell...

Piedmont Writer said...

Okay, just HOLY CRAP Ed.

I don't really have any more to say other than that you should have been born a philosopher rather than a writer.

Suzi Smith said...

you give me sumersaults in my solar plex!

DEZMOND said...

"Once upon a time, your roots curled around mine in the winter"
your magic again, Ed :)

and you don't need the F word in your writing, Ed, you're above that.

Teacher Mommy said...

There are times when I feel like I've found the closest thing to heaven on earth there is. And then there's always something that pokes its head in to remind me that it's still imperfect earth.

But there are those moments.

Lori said...

When I was a little girl, I was always taught that the magic words were "please" and "thank you." Who knew? :-)

Bernie said...

A great metaphor.....wonderful writing. I focus on the small pieces of heaven which some how come my way each day.....:-) Hugs

Wine and Words said...

Thank you Ed. I have missed you in this way.

The truth is embarrassing. Is that why we rarely share it? I am open to embarrassment. I am open to the plank, but wish for a quicker end. "Once upon a time, your roots curled around mine..." It's cold...where my roots struggle to burrow independent of the curl. And I wait for warmth.

The Words Crafter said...

I thought I was stumbling...I really loved this line. Like everyone else, I also loved the roots curling line.

This is really deep and interesting and sad and exciting.

I smell rain....fantastic!

The Empress said...

We are on the same wavelength. If you have the chance, IF: and this is not self serving here, just want to share a love of words with you.

I have posted a poem, last Thursday, by Rilke that just breaks me to pieces every time I read it.

VERY SHORT but the shout at life is so loud.

If you have the chance, pls stop over to read. Post is called "change of seasons."

Good to have you here again. Really, really good....I love me my heady stuff. I so do.

Ed Pilolla said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ed Pilolla said...

take two:

thanks, friends, very much.

dez, i'm going to sleep on it. appreciated.

BuddhiHermit said...

Phenomenally powerful Ed. Thanks.

Space Lady said...

"As you know, what we have here is no heaven on earth. The crimes against the poor are too numerous to enumerate, the crimes against our animals too horrifying to describe, the crimes against this planet too institutionalized to bother documenting."

Acknowledging the truth is powerful magic in and of itself. I love your ability to remove time from the ordinary frame of reference and give it meaning.

Ed Pilolla said...

buddhihermit, thanks for stopping by:)

space lady, i like your idea of conjuring powerful magic very much.

dez, you're right. you reminded me of a pretty solid rule that says we can usually say something more effectively than saying it with an expletive. part of my relationship with god, since i discovered god:), is letting go of the fear that god will punish me for being irreverent. so though i've said things like fuck you and worse, to write about it accurately requires different language than shock material. muchas gracias. i love that this advice comes from you who doesn't believe in god per se. but i know your belief and faith in energy, so we don't disagree about much, i suspect:)

Gabriela Abalo said...

a very wise post, that resonates within :)

Thanks for sharing.
loveNlight
Gabi

Lena said...

A deeply felt post. You know, I don't think I've ever been to me....

Aishah said...

You took me through your feelings. I stumbled with you at every twist and every turn. Glad that it ended with some hope.

Earthianne said...

Oneness. Another great post. TY.

Phoenix said...

If I ask really nicely, will you please stop making me tear up with your posts? They strike such a chord in my heart...

My heart has been sick and sad for a while now. I think it was because I wasn't ready to do everything I could to try to make this world a better place, and I wasn't ready to do everything I could to just let it be what it is.

I'm getting ready. Soon. You'll see.

French Fancy... said...

'The Great Awakening' - fabulous words and beautiful imagery throughout, Ed.

rebecca said...

love it. so glad i found your blog....

Aishah said...

Hello Ed, I had not been writing either. In I my old blog I used to start a post with squeezing my brain and just start sharing what's on my mind. That was my way of keeping to write. Now I could not really do that. Anyways, I'll dropby again. Hope you are doing okay.

Paul C said...

I like the idea that stumbling may be just a productive twirl.

Lena said...

Just popped by again, and I have to say this reads even more wonderfully the 2nd time! The bit that got me:

'I thought those crocs were snapping at me. I had no idea they were really hollering encouragements as I danced from head to head'

You're a talented man!

Jingle said...

once in a while, we all do.
hope you well.
lovely post.

your talent rocks.

Andrea Parker said...

My favorite line is "once upon a time, your roots curled around mine in the winter."

Kay said...

what. a. ride.

She Writes said...

Having removed all my links, I lost yours for awhile. imagine my surprise when I found you at Brian's :). HAH!

I loved this piece, Ed.

Phoenix said...

Just checking in. Hope everything is bright and sound in your world...